


Crackheads Across The Street

by dangermustbegrowing



Category: Black Panther (2018), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, F/F, F/M, Gay Harley Keener, Harley Keener is a Good Bro, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inspired by Twitter, M/M, Multi, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Tony Stark, Pansexual Wade Wilson, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker is a Mess, Tags May Change, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Trans Peter Parker, Twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-01-05 13:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21209228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dangermustbegrowing/pseuds/dangermustbegrowing
Summary: Peter Parker, loser of Midtown high and known for his "internship lie" and spider-man and hero to queens, decides one day to give tony even more grey hairs and make the PR team crave the sweet release of death like the kids do.And make a spider-man twitter account.And obviously, shit hits the fan, in the most chaotic ways possible.





	1. The Beginning

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_bio:_ _yall ever just,,,,,,,, stan Tiny Snark? _

_Anyway i am but tiny chidl _

**followers: 62 following: 318**

-

_ **pinned tweet:** _

_ _

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour **

** _Retweeted_ **

_ ***Hacker Voice* Im In @gitc** _

_ Regret. Betrayal. Distrust. _

_ All things felt before but this time? Spicier._

**-**

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour **

it. is time. 

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

@Stark I am (not) Sorry

**Him @Stark **

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

Kid, please. Whatever you do. Don't 

** RT: 31.2k Likes: 54.6k **

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour **

_Replying to @Stark _

(^: 

-

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

i have Arrived 

-

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_Bio: friendly neighborhood spider-man! _

_With a hyphen!!_

**Followers: 4 Following: 31**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has,,,,
> 
> be g u n


	2. Old Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Him @Stark  
Replying to @Webslinger  
what the fuck are you d o i n g
> 
> SpideyWebs @Webslinger  
Replying to @Stark  
Thriving old man

**Him @Stark**

_Bio: Genius, Billionaire, _ _Philanthropist, Not longer playboy no matter what daily bugle may say,_

_Unfortunate member of the Avengers_

**Followers: 45.3M Following: 61**

**Pinned Tweet:**  
_ Retweeted:_

**Him @Stark**

i'm obligated to retweet this as Pep says

** _ SI @StarkIndustries_ **

_The new _ _stark phone release date announcement!~ Pre-Order yours today! [[www.StarkIndustries/Tech/Starkphones.com](https://youtu.be/TIy3n2b7V9k)] _

_[Photo of the phone attached]_

_-_

**Him @Stark** _  
_

K I D. 

_-_

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_Bio: friendly neighborhood spider-man! _

_With a hyphen!!_

**Followers: 254 Following: 34**

_-_

**@Stark, @America, @hawkass, @onyourleft, @magnetman, @redmenace, and 244 have followed @Webslinger!**

**-**

**Gay and not Thriving @myinitalsarecursed**

y'all 

**Gay and not Thriving @myinitalsarecursed**

YALL

**Gay and not Thriving @myinitalsarecursed**

THEFUCKIGN AVENGERS FIOLLOW @Webslinger

**Reddie is alive and well @reddiestan**

_Replying to @myinitalsarecursed_

WAIT FUCK

**"y a l l" @countryboy**

_Replying to @myinitalsarecursed_

ITS H I M @Webslinger I LOVE YOU **  
**

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_Replying to @countryboy_

and I love YOU random citizen!

**SPIDEY REPLIED TO ME @countryboy**

_Replying to @Webslinger_

EYE-

DFJKLAKkjFKLD

-

**Him @Stark**

_Replying to @Webslinger_

what the fuck are you d o i n g

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_Replying to @Stark_

Thriving old man

**Him @Stark**

_Replying to @Webslinger_

you little sHIT

**Her @PottsStark**

_Replying to @Stark_

You both are giving PR a headache

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_Replying to @PottsStark_

im sorry ))^:

** **Him @Stark****

_Replying to @PottsStark_

im sorry

**Her @PottsStark **

_Replying to @Webslinger_

It's okay sweetie, a heads-up would have been nice though. And Tony, you're just a constant PR mess I can't stop you

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_Replying to @PottsStark_

ill keep that in mind!!

**Him @Stark**

_Replying to @PottsStark_

(((:

-

**Lesbi-Honest @7mG4Y**

_Replying to @Stark_

IM LIVING FOR THIS FUCKIN THREAD

***Hacker Voice* Im In @gitc**

_Replying to @7mG4Y_

eYE- 

@yeeteryarkour

@yourenotmyfriends

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_Replying to @gitc_

and I-fdsajdfsj;jfg

yakno

**emjay @yournotmyfriends**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

oh this will be fun to watch crash and burn

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_Bio: friendly neighborhood spider-man! _

_With a hyphen!!_

**Followers: 143.3K Following: 39**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I m having s o much fun with this rn ahhahahahaHAHH


	3. Trivago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Him @Stark
> 
> Replying to @Webslinger
> 
> I am filled, with immediate fear
> 
> my body? tense
> 
> my thoughts? worst case
> 
> SpideyWebs @Webslinger
> 
> Replying to @Stark
> 
> Hotel? Trivago

**SpideyWebs ** **@** **Webslinger**

Good morning everyone! Do your best today, you got this! And if you see me on patrol feel free to stop me for a chat!!I love you all!!!

[Picture attached of a selfie of peter in his spidersuit, giving a peace sign, electronic eyes squinted, giving the effect he’s smiling]

**RT: 12.3k Likes: 23.8k**

**And I said ** **@** **heyyeahyeahyeahyay**

_Replying to @Webslinger_

HE!!!

**eYES ** **@e_yes**

_ _Replying to @Webslinger_ _

I Love One Man

**SpiderWatch @SpiderWatch**

_Replying to @Webslinger_

This just in, @Webslinger is h*cking precious

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_Replying to @SpiderWatch_

Thank you for censoring that, my poor eyes wouldn’t be able to fucking handle that shit you know?

-

**Him ** **@Stark**

_Replying to @SpiderWatch_

We Been Knew

**RT: 42.5k Likes: 213.9k**

-

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

eye-

someone please

end me 

***Hacker Voice* Im In @gitc**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

you,,,, you good Pete? 

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_Replying to @gitc_

absolutely not thanks for asking 

***Hacker Voice* Im In @gitc**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

of course

**emjay @yournotmyfriends**

_Replying to @gitc_

get off your fuckin phones mr Harrison is staring at you 

***Hacker Voice* Im In @gitc**

_Replying to @yournotmyfriends_

you're,,,, on yours??

**emjay @yournotmyfriends**

_Replying to @gitc_

but I'm not staring intently at my crotch am I? 

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_Replying to @yournotmyfriends_

touche

**Flash Gotta Blast @speedyman**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

hah dumb bitch Harrison got on to you

**The Unfortunate Teacher @nomorefieldtrips**

_Replying to @speedyman_

Phone, now Mr. Thompson

**Flash Gotta Blast @speedyman**

shit 

-

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

okay @Stark don't be mad and/or scared

**Him @Stark**

_Replying to @Webslinger_

I am filled, with immediate fear

my body? tense

my thoughts? worst case

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_Replying to @Stark_

Hotel? Trivago

**Him @Stark**

_Replying to @Webslinger_

Before I have a heart attack what ha p p en e d 

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

sorry sorry! I just m a y or ma y not have gotten gently stabbed with a knife while breaking up a gang fight (((: 

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_Replying to @Webslinger_

Mr. Stark? @Stark 

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_Replying to @Webslinger_

I already hear him oh god oh frick- 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eye-  
why has this already gotten a few hundred hits and almost a hundred kudos???  
thank???? you????


	4. tWENTY EIGHT STAB WOUNDS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Hacker Voice* Im In @gitc
> 
> Replying to @yeeteryarkour
> 
> oh god oh fuck he fulL NAMED M-
> 
> emjay @yournotmyfriends
> 
> Replying to @gitc
> 
> Killed in his prime

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

lmao imagine getting quarantined because youre a dumbass who would do that

**Him @Stark**

_replying to @Webslinger_

  
You may be a dumbass

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_replying to @Stark_

But?? (:

**Him @Stark**   
_replying to @Webslinger_

no that's it

**SpideyWebs @ Webslinger**

_replying to @Stark_

))):

**Lesbi-Honest @7mG4Y**

_Replying to @Stark_

FUCKING GOT HIM

**eYESÂ @e_yes**

_Replying to @Webslinger_

OH SHI-

-

**SpiderWatch @SpiderWatch**

_Replying to @Webslinger_

Okay but are you.. like good Spidey?

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_replying to @SpiderWatch_

YEah! Im good!! healed in no time, iron can was just being a b ab. y

**Him @Stark**

_replying to @Webslinger_

YOU HAD NUMEROUS STAB WOUNDS

**Gay and not Thriving @myinitalsarecursed**

_replying to @Stark_

h h ow many?

**Him @Stark**

_replying to @myintitalsarecursed_

TOO MANY FOR A NORMAL PERSON TO SURVIVE

**SpideyWebs @Webslinger**

_replying to @Stark @myinitalsarecursed_

[[slapvictimsbody28STABWOUNDS](https://i.redd.it/viqkso1enwd11.png)]

**Him @Stark**

_replying to @Webslinger_

K I D

-

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

time to get festive festive you feel

***Hacker Voice* Im In @gitc**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

Always peet

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_Replying to @gitc_

What have I said about that spelling Nedthanial?

***Hacker Voice* Im In @gitc**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

oh god oh fuck he fulL NAMED M-

**emjay @yournotmyfriends**

_Replying to @gitc_

Killed in his prime

\- 

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

_bio: Tony Stark broke into my garage and broke my sisters watch_

**Following: 32 Followers: 43  
  
  
**

_Pinned Tweet:_

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

Reminder that Tony Stark is a mess of a human and stowed away in my fucking garage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HeY GuYS SORRY HI ITS BEEN A BIT A LOT HAS HAPPENED BUT IM BACK


	5. pitter patter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Petty Keen @patatogarage 
> 
> Replying to @fortheman
> 
> I think its time for a donnybrook boys
> 
> Sauce @fortheman
> 
> Replying to @patatogarage
> 
> IM- SCARED?

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

_Bio: Tony stark broke into my garage and broke my sisters watch_

**Following: 34 Followers: 682**

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

Daily reminder, Stark, iron man himself, had help from an 8 year old to rebuild his suit.

-

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

He tries to ignore my existence but he cant you know why?

Were connected.

-

**Sauce @fortheman**

_Replying to @patatogarage_

Hi yes, excuse me what the fuck?

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

_Replying to @fortheman_

you are spare parts aren’t ya bud?

**Sauce @fortheman**

_Replying to @potatogarage_

HIYES WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

_Replying to @fortheman_

I think its time for a donnybrook boys

**Sauce @fortheman**

_Replying to @potatogarage_

IM- SCARED?

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

_Replying to @fortheman_

Pitter patter now

**Sauce @fortheman**

E YE-

-

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

Fun fact, i got The Tony Stark attached to a little bot I made in robotics last year

**Flash Gotta Blast @speedyman**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

Yeah fucking right like fucking God himself would be interested in the likes of you Parker

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_Replying to @speedyman_

When are you going to let this g o

***Hacker Voice* Im In @gitc**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour @speedyman_

Yeah come o n dude, pitter fucking patter you know he has the internship

**Flash Gotta Blast @speedyman**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour @gitc_

Come fucking on, that’s fuckin pedestrian dude. We all know that’s complete bUlLsHiT

**Moon Moon @indybitch**

_Replying to @speedyman_

w e l l,,

**President Man @lincolnlogs**

_Replying to @indybitch @speedyman_

W E L L yoU SEE WHAT HAPPENED WAS,,,

**Flash Gotta Blast @speedyman**

_Replying to @indybitch @lincolnlogs_

You’re fucking JOKING

**This Just In @igotthetea**

_Replying to @speedyman and 2 others_

I mean come on Flash, Peter has some damning evidence to prove it

**Flash Gotta Blast @speedyman**

_Replying to @igotthetea and 4 others_

wow I fucking thought you guys were actually smart

**emjay @yourenotmyfriends**

_Replying to @speedyman_

Don't make me throw my lawn chairs at you, you fucking grease monkey get off twitter and work on your fucking work

**Flash Gotta Blast @speedyman**

_Replying to @yourenotmyfriends_

Yes ma'am im sorry 

this isn't over penis @yeeteryarkour

**emjay @yourenotmyfriends**

_Replying to @speedyman_

yes it is

**Flash Gotta Blast @speedyman**

_Replying to @yourenotmyfriends_

yes it is

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_replying to @yourenotmyfriends_

god is a woman and I bow to her feet

**emjay @yourenotmyfriends**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

Good

-

**Him @Stark**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

@ me next time damn

**Him @Stark**

_Replying to @Stark_

AlSO iM SORRY BUT ABL IS AMAZING

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_Replying to @Stark_

W E A K and S O F T man here

**RT: 12.2k Likes: 15.6k**

**Him @Stark**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

):

**RT: 30.1k Likes: 57.9k**

-

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_bio: yall ever just,,,,,,,, stan Tiny Snark? _

_Anyway i am but tiny chidl _

**followers: 17.9k following: 318**

-

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

@Stark

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

@Stark

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

@Stark

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

@Stark

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

@Stark SEE I TOLD YALL HES IGNORIGN ME

**Traitor??? KamINARI??? @kamitheory**

Fuck I love these fucking accounts, fake or not they’re fucking great

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

_Replying to @kamitheory_

Thank you darling but this isn’t fake Stark is a petty bitch

**Traitor??? KamINARI??? @kamitheory**

_Replying to @potatogarge_

dARLiNG fUCK THAT S EN T ME also you seem to be the petty one here, Petty Keen

**The PRETTY Keen @wheresmywatchstark**

_Replying to @kamitheory @potatogarage_

They’ve got you there dude

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

_Replying to @wheresmywatchstark_

SHUT YOUR FUCK

-

**EyE Am HERE @amght**

Are we just gonna,,, ac c e pt this Peter kids “internship” or?

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_Replying to @amght_

Yes

**EyE am HERE @amght**

_Replying to @yeeteryarkour_

Alright then

-

**Toxic Spearmint @yeeteryarkour**

_bio: yall ever just,,,,,,,, stan Tiny Snark? _

_Anyway i am but tiny chidl _

**followers: 18.3k following: 354**

**-**

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

_bio: Tony Stark broke into my garage and broke my sisters watch_

**Following: 45 Followers: 1.9k**

**-**

**Him @Stark**

@PotatoGarage who let you get a fuCKING TWITTER

**The Petty Keen @potatogarage**

_Replying to @Stark_

OH N O W YOU ANSWER

**Traitor??? KamINARI??? @kamitheory**

_Replying to @patatogarage @stark_

What

**Sauce @fortheman**

_Replying to @potatogarage @stark_

whAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its not the best bros, had a lot of ideas so if it seemed rushed im sorry
> 
> ill reedit it later sO yEAh
> 
> also if y'all know letterkenny then y'all'll get this references

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!!! uwu!!!


End file.
